Brandeis University asked me "Matt, what costume would you wear if you had to wear it for an entire year and why?" Well Brandeis here it is...

I've always had a problem eating. It wasn't that I was against the institution, but I would just get bored. I'm lazy and I have the attention span of a toddler on C6H12O6 (that's sugar for you chemistry nerds). These two attributes combined with my sloth-like eating led to me developing the body of a twelve year old girl. Now my friends tell me that they'd love to be in my situation and let themselves go on a Nutella/Haagen-Dazs/Hershey's chocolate syrup binge. But I want that too (although Ben and Jerry’s is where it’s at). Hypothetically fat, I would tell myself that I would be able to turn my newfound "meat" into muscle (although again I'm super lazy and this would never happen). People would stare at me with disgust, wondering how I could let myself go. Fed up I would work out, (cue Eye of the Tiger) spending extra hours on the treadmill and getting blown off by the ladies (that part’s actually true). After months of strong will and progress, the fat suit would (literally and metaphorically) disappear and I would become the coolest cat in college. Now as you’re reading this you’re probably thinking okay so where’s the deep message, or is this just supposed to be hilarious (hopefully). The message is to be happy with who you are. whether you’re rocking Gandhi’s hot bod (like me) or something else, always be happy with that because you’re going to be stuck with that person forever.